Sunday, November 27, 2011

Putting my family back piece at a time

I never thought this day would come. after all the heartache and pain. my family will finally be all in one room for the first time in 12 years. hopefully the bad blood will wash away some...but who knows. i had to take that first step in faith and with a quivering voice, i made this happen. i didnt do it for me, i did it for kimberly. i want her to know that people love her no matter what. they can put aside their differences for her. shes important. i never want her to feel the things i have. i never want her to feel rejected by the people that are supposed to be there for your everything...her first day of kindergarten, first christmas program, first day of junior high...her prom, and her graduation from high school and college. i never want her to feel regret that maybe this is all her fault. i have felt that way half my life and i am finally taking a stand against it for her. i am going to put myself in awkward situations, put my feelings on the line, and get my heart broke just so she doesnt have to. this is my job as her momma. i suffer so she feels love. thats all a child should have to worry feeling loved. my mom and dad havent been able to be in the same room since their divorce...and next sunday...they are coming to my house and putting aside the bull for kimberly. and then her christmas program is monday. i really hope this goes well. i want her to know she is loved more than anything...i really hope this doesnt blow up in my face...

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