what is your problem with me being happy?

i just dont understand why people try to hold me back... i mean who the hell are you to try to stand in my way of happiness?!? i am making HUGE changes in my life because i know they are the changes that need to be made. i am letting go of the fake easy friendships and moving on with the people that deserve to be in my life... why is that so hard to understand? i was not rude about it... i was not mean... i just simply stated that i no longer want communication with you and people like you and would appreciate if you would respect that statement. its not my loss that you are no longer wanted here, it is just how life is going to be. i do not need anymore negativity in my life. i want people that will be there for me when i need them, and people i want to be there for when they need me. my life is no longer a one sided give all i can and get nothing back kind of life. i want the same out of my friendships as i put into them. i will not be walked all over or treated like yesterdays news. me and my little girl will be just fine without those people in our lives. just because im not the skinny super model type...yet, doesnt mean im not worth the same as those bitches. i can love and care just as much, if not more, as they can. i deserve better. and i am not settling for what is easy or comfortable. im striving for the best and that will not be easy or comfortable all the time... but i know how to work my ass off and i intend to do so every step of the way! so if you arent here to help me succeed...plain and simple...GET THE HELL OUT OF MY WAY.

things im thankful for

i know im supposed to list the things i am thankful for for thanksgiving...but im going to do mine a little early because i can lol.
my beautiful daughter: she is my everything...even tho there are times i want to scream and yell and throw a fit because of her, i still wouldnt change being her momma.
my family: i have come to realize i have the best family i could ask for. sure its a little fucked up some times, its still my family and i love them all. my sister is especially awesome :).
my friends: sure we have had hard times, fights, brawls, and even times when we dont speak but i still love them. i am so happy to have them in my life.
being able to provide for my daughter: i love that i am the one kicking ass and taking names and putting food on the table. i dont need a man to make a living.
my college career: i am kickin college ass! i cannot wait to be done, but i am sure learning a lot and getting experience under my belt.
i am very lucky to live in america and be able to do pretty much whatever i want. i love my life and the only thing i would change about it right now... is the fact that its so damn cold lol

new kimmy pics

we went to the pumpkin patch out at the spring lake stables and this is one of the pumpkins she liked.

making the most of the hand i am dealt

first of all, i have to say my sister is amazing. i could not ask for a better person to be in my life as a sister. she was able to watch kimmy for me while i got the entire baby sitter search under way...and she helped kimmy break the habit of no more sucker...which i had been dreading. i have come to realize that kimmy whining (although it bugs me more than anything in the world) is not the end of the world...and she is going to do it no matter what i do...so i use headphones to drown her out while she cries herself to sleep. its a process were working on, but were getting there.
second of all, i hate being sick. i know no one loves or likes being sick. but unless you have tried being sick while having a healthy child, you have no idea how much i hate it! its worse when the kid is sick too, but its all a huge suckfest. am glad to be gettin better though, because i wont be coughing so hard i wanna puke or pee lol. i am also glad that this portion of dumb classes is almost over. i can no longer stand to talk about psychology or philosophy gibberish. bring on communications and algebra! am thankful that my tuition refund check will be here next week... i can then get some things caught up and maybe treat myself to a haircut and highlights as a late birthday present to myself since i did nothing but sit home on the actual one. learning who real, good friends are in my life is a new adventure as well. knowing who to keep close and who to keep at arms length for my own sanity and knowing who to throw across the lake is getting easier. i cannot believe this year is almost over and i am still struggling with things... (those will be revealed later...) i need to get my ass in gear and get back to the old Renee and back into my skinny jeans. but to be able to do that, im going to have to work hard...and getting to the point of working hard is almost unavoidable. but when i get there (im hoping by mid november) i will be unstoppable. and by the time i am done with overhauling my life, i will be a force to be reckoned with... and there will be no holding me back!

my new life goals:
get fit and be the size i want.
save money to pay off truck and buy new one.
start saving money to get braces.

this is all i have to say for now.

living and loving my life

as it stands right now, i have 3 full time jobs; single mom, college student, and denture center receptionist/lab tech. my life has become so busy in the last month that i have not had time to think let alone write a blog haha.
kimmy is growing up more and more every day and i can barely keep up. she has an amazing new babysitter that i am so blessed to have in our lives. today was her first day and i just had a sense of peace when i left kimmy at her house. this is a peace i have only experienced when leaving kimmy at my sisters place. i can just feel the love from her toward kimmy. its awesome how some unexpected things fall apart so better things can fall together.
i am still doing great in school, but have been struggling with the last two classes because of the content... psychology and philosophy... can you blame me?? to me they are both total BS! but i am still succeeding with flying colors, although with gritted teeth... lol.
i have changed a lot in my life in the past bit. finally got into my new place and have a wonderful job that challenges me. i have cut the bad people out of my life and decided what i need and that is not a dead-beat boyfriend. i want a man that treats me right and accepts me for who i am and what i want to be in the future. also a man that accepts my daughter and wants to be a positive influence in her life. i am no longer caught up in the frenzy of just being with whoever, but have decided to settle for nothing less than the best. i am hoping i have met him or will soon. but that is not the most important thing right now.
i have reconnected with old friends and am having a blast making new ones through school and new places i am going. i have started a life-change for myself and kimmy through eating better and starting a workout plan. ill be a hott(er) momma soon lol

Moving day!!

well we are finally moving into our new place today!! in about an hour i will be signing the lease and getting my keys...it will be a busy few days while we get everything moved over there and unpacked...i am soo excited to finally be getting into my own house and place again! pics will come soon!!

today we went to the park for the first time since kimmy has been old enough to walk. she had a blast! loved the slide and climbing on stuff but did not really care for the swings. oh well...i am so glad there is a park close to our new place! get to spend a lot of time outside playing without the nasty bees.

playin the grass with her new ball

so kimberly got a new purple ball and it was finally nice enough outside that we could go out in the yard and play with it. shes getting used to the grass...still doesnt like the pokey feeling on her feet.

kimmys first night as a big girl!

so last night i took kimmy into her room where her new toddler bed is and she crawled in bed, pulled the covers up and went to sleep. she slept all night in her own bed without fighting or a fit or crying. i am so proud of this new accomplishment! she is growing up so fast!

this is the face i wake up for every morning and cannot wait to see what she has new to show me!

new adventures

this last few years have flown by! i cannot believe that miss Kimberly Jade will be 2 in less than 6 months! she has accomplished so much in the last 18 months its crazy! she went from birth and having to be re-admitted to the hospital for jaundice, to being my little glow worm at home on the portable "billy-light" to bring her "billy" levels down and to not be my little yellow babygirl. then it was the big move to aunt katies and uncle aarons for assistance with the new baby for mommy... then back to klamath a few months later and into a new place with auntie lynny at 7 months. a great first birthday with cousins and friends lexi and chloe. it was princess themed!! all hot pink and awesome. mom went all out for this one! got lots of cool toys and cute outfits!! had a blast.
this last month was very eventful... kimberly had a few weeks long stay with aunt katie and uncle aaron, which she did awesome! learned a lot of new things from cousins and aunt katie. kimmy is no longer in the highchair, she gets up to the table and sits like a big girl. then she was home for a week and back to aunt katies for another week or so because mommy had surgery to fix some of the things that were messed up with a vaginal delivery...TMI already yes i know hehe. and then back to mommys after her bout on bedrest was complete... we are adjusting to life back to normal...just in time to move yet again into our own place. just me and kimberly.

since november for me, life has been a little busier. i have started back to school attending college online through Grand Canyon University to obtain my bachelors degree in elementary education with an emphasis in english. i will be certified in oregon and arizona to teach K-8... i am very excited to say that since my start in january, i have maintained a 4.0 gpa and have been kickin butt! i will be graduating college in june of 2014! and it will be just in time to start teaching when kimberly starts school. am hoping i will be able to teach at the same school she will attend. i want to start out teaching the first grade and see how that goes. i am so lucky to have been inspired to pursue this career by the wonderful english teacher Mrs. Myers i had at Henley. she is truly the best mentor i have ever had!
there has been a lot going on, especially in the last few months, in the lives of me and kimberly. we are moving into our new place in about 2 weeks...still have yet to find out where it is. i will know more in a week or so. i have decided that getting a dog (a yellow lab) will be a good choice since kimberly needs a play companion. :)i have found out who my true friends are and they are not who i thought they would be. i have had to cut ties with a few of the toxic ones, and swallow my pride and apologize to the best ones. so far this year has been smooth sailing and i intend to keep it that way. i will let the trouble roll off and embrace the sweet time i am able to spend with my little girl...there will never be a time as precious as this! i am truly blessed!!