Saturday, August 27, 2011
taking time to work on me
this last week i have had a lot of down time. i am working in a place with limited cell service (which i needed a break from desperately), slow internet (like mailing a letter would be faster), and only one community tv... i have revolved my life around these three things way too much in the past and i am learning to live without them as much. i still need internet for college, but i know i will not be turning my cable back on when i go home. i am going to spend more time just playing with kimberly. i have ignored her so much i am ashamed to admit. she should be the center of my day, not tv, phone, or internet. i am looking at downgrading my phone to a simple just call or texting phone. it has cut into my interactions too much and i am tired of it. i know in these coming couple months i will get a crash course in what is really important in my life. and it is not technology... it is my daughter. i am taking this time to spend quietly with God and letting him heal my hurts and fix my flaws. i want to come out of this entire thing with a new attitude and being a better mommy. i am rereading "loving our kids on purpose" and will do so until it all sinks in. i want kimberly to know this was not all time wasted. it is time i needed to get things in order for her. i refuse to continue failing her.